Extremely delayed Silas Medical Update

Sometime in the fall JT took Silas back in for the 6 month ENT checkup to make sure Silas' ears were still okay. Everything looked fine but one tube had fallen out completely and the other one was about to. So they took them both out and wished JT and Silas on their merry way. I was frustrated because essentially Silas had surgery so he could have tubes in for the spring and summer-- not typically our high season for ear infections.

The doctor had agreed with JT that it was too bad they didn't last longer, but also indicated that since he was a year older he may have outgrown the problem. I was skeptical at the time and am even more skeptical now. Silas woke up congested and discombobulated and clearly not feeling well this morning.

JT stayed home with him and he pretty much layed in bed or sat on the couch and watched videos for the biggest part of the day. He didn't have much of a fever but he did keep getting flushed and he was definitely not his normal self. After nap he woke up even more out of sorts and immediately started saying that his ear hurt. Hallelujah for real speech! I immediately called the Dr. and we got an appt for this afternoon.

By then his eye was watering and boy could you just tell he felt miserable. Indeed he did have an ear infection in the one ear he was complaining about and the Dr. thought it was possible he was developing pink eye. She gave us an RX in case he wakes up with it disgusting and clearly pink eye. Otherwise she said it could just be due to his cold. We got his antibiotics filled and his first dose administered tonight. Hopefully he'll be feeling better tomorrow morning, although we'll have to see about school. In the meantime, Henry kept trying to convince us that he should stay home sick as well.

The problem is that he's had a cough for 2 weeks or so that is just stubborn but sounds somewhat bad. So he'll say he feels bad, (cough, cough) and it sounds believable. Wish us sweet dreams as we all try to get a good nights sleep.

Christmas with a 2 and 4 year old

Christmas this year is fun in lots of new ways. This is the first year Silas is consciously involved in the unfolding of Christmas. And everything is a delight. The big snowflake street decorations, the twinkling lights on Christmas trees peeking through front windows, as well as all the decorations on our tree he can reach.

Henry is also into Christmas in a new way-- he remembers it of course, and trots out all manner of details of things that happened last Christmas that we haven't talked about since. He is also much more intrigued with Santa and seems to be wrapping his mind around the "magic" of Santa. We're setting out to write our letters to Santa this week and i'm curious to see what winds up in Henry's this year.

We're not in a bonafide "up-cycle" with both boys, but we've had a decent-enough string of days i think it's worth being positive and grateful for all the fun craziness the boys bring to our life. Silas' newest thing is loving to take all his clothes off. Mostly he does this indoors, but even still it's been FREEZING here and it gives me goosebumps just to see him naked walking around on our super-cold floors. He does run warmer than me to be sure, but it also seems like he has to be on the verge of hypothermia before he'll admit he's cold. Just to make things interesting he also now feels compelled to jump on the trampoline once all his clothes are off.

We have found a solution that's been working pretty well. He comes home, immediately wants to take all his clothes off, we agree he can do that and run around for a few minutes and then put on his warm fuzzy pajamas. We've accumulated several pairs of fuzzy footed pajamas and he really loves them. So he's being rather "un-Silas" about being persuaded to don them.

We're keeping up a pretty good pace with Christmas prep. We try to hold down outside commitments this time of year which allows us to be home, crafting, wrapping, cooking, and preparing to see our whole family. We can't wait!

Christmas Organizing

I had a query about how i prepare for Christmas-- when i start working on things, how i get organized etc. I thought this just might appeal to someone else so am drafting my response in the form of a blogpost.

First of all this is me we're talking about, so a spreadsheet looms large in this conversation. I actually now use google docs and have a gift giving spreadsheet that has data in in for the last 5 years. I have everyone listed in column A that i give gifts to. Then a new set of columns each year that detail my ideas, where i think the gift will come from, the budget for that person and the actual amount i spent on them. I color code them as i make progress on the list, bright green when they're all done, yellow when they're in-process or part-way done and white when they're not done at all.

Just to give some scope to my list versus your own gift needs, i have 28 rows on my spreadsheet. This includes the shopping i do for family and a few friends, as well as the gifts i buy for the kids on behalf of family that sends us money.

I generally start thinking about gift ideas for folks sometime in September. I do very little shopping at this point but begin mapping out ideas i have for each person on my list. More and more i strive for a mix of handmade and purchased gifts. I put a lot of thought into what each person would like. I use a combined method of asking for gift lists and then just thinking about what i know about that person, their interests, their taste-- and what i've been inspired by. I spend a fairly substantial chunk of time looking around on etsy and save ideas i have for others in my favorites.

I keep hand-written lists in a small notebook of all the hand-made projects i'm working on. I got underway with those by the beginning of November and have tried to work steadily on them in the evenings and during naptime on the weekends. I tend to cluster my purchased spending online, and do it right around Thanksgiving. There are great sales, still plenty of time to have things shipped, and then i can cross all my purchased gifts off my list and focus on what i'm still working away on by hand.

I can't reveal pictures of what i'm making this year because i don't want to spoil the surprise, but i'm making sure to take pictures of everything as i complete my projects so i can have a big handmade holiday wrap-up post!

How do you organize your gift-giving?

Giving Back

In the past six months or so i feel like i've stumbled on to some blogs that have made some pretty significant contributions in my life. There's no linear telling of the stumblings, but soulemama.com was probably the nexus. Her beautiful photographs and telling of her family life re-focused my energies and spurred me to explore positive parenting approaches, learn about waldorf education, bring crafts into life with the boys, and embrace sewing and handwork in a big way.

And the reason i'm telling you all of this is to say that beyond inspiration and new hobbies, reading soulemama and some of the other parenting blogs has helped develop a positive thought line running through my head. Many of them discuss in their blogs how grateful they are for what surrounds them-- even when things aren't going right. It really is infectious if you hear this kind of talk enough.

So while part of me is whining that i was so excited for this week off, several days to sew and shop and cook and be productive and that it's not fair to be sick, the other part of me is saying that i'm grateful i have three full days to rest if need-be, a laptop to watch movies on, listen to music and connect when i feel like it, and especially for the little boys that have become very adept and (usually) willing to pick up the downstairs when the toy explosion starts to reach the high-water mark.

I'm not having the morning i wanted (gym, shopping, and then massage); but i am having the morning that i need (in bed with the newspaper, the laptop, coffee and saving my energy for said massage.)

Wishing you and yours a grateful week!

Very First Parent-Teacher Conference

Yesterday JT and I attended our first parent-teacher conference. It was a delightful time to hear about how well Henry is doing, how amazing a little guy he is outside the home (he's great inside as well-- part of the time :), and to get a detailed report on some of his activities at school.

For my early-childhood education readers, they use something called "creative curriculum" that the preschool learning objectives are tied to-- a quarter of which are in social/emotional development and the rest spread over things like physical, cognitive and language development. Henry got good comments in all areas, and Ms. Laura mentioned that his physical skills on the playground are right in line with all the other kids (i had mentioned his physical therapy).


She had some observation notes for Henry that she gave us and some of them are too funny not to share:
-Playing independently at the art table, Henry observes: "You know, this orange paper is pretty thick, and the red paper wasn't as thick, Why?"
- Henry easily repeats and extends a simple AB pattern using blue and purple manipulative people. He says later while lining them up, "They're at the Artic Pole. They're really Cold."
- While playing with Henry in Dramatic Play, I ask him, "Can i have some milk Henry?" Henry finds the milk in the fridge, brings it to me, and says "Sure, here it is!"
- Henry puts all the blocks on the shelf to "see how many can fit."

Feedback Loop

From November 2009

Even with the Internet, and a community of supporters that i can access on the phone, online and in-person, sometimes parenting can be a bit of an isolating job. I've been lucky enough to have the opportunity to volunteer in Henry's classroom once a week for the past few months and it's been such a rewarding experience. Seeing Henry outside of his family environment is a joy-- and allows me to clearly see his strengths without having to deal with the "hands-on" parenting that makes you feel like you're in the trenches when you're at home.

I also get a chance to meet all of Henry's classmates, learn their names and see how Henry interacts with them. I recently came across this quote and nodded my head vigorously; "If you ask preschoolers, "What did you do at school today?" they will typically say, "Nothing." Honestly, i was happy to read this as some kids i know just gush the goings-on of their day. But not Henry. For as long as he's been talking, when you ask him what he did at school- or even try to be creative and ask him the funniest or silliest thing that happened he seems to delight in telling you a) nothing happened or b) he just started at the wall all day.

The book went on to say: "But if they get other cues-- you start to sing one of the songs or they see or smell something similar-- you can get an amazingly detailed rendition of the morning's activities."


Being in Henry's classroom gives me the details to be able to ask questions that he'll actually answer, or to weave his classmates names into our conversation. I've considered it laying the groundwork, and in fact it has allowed him to open up and share more with me-- almost as if because he doesn't have to educate me from scratch it's something he'll consider doing.

Henry seems to love having me in the classroom as well-- asking throughout the week if it's the day i come to help at his school. He's really great about honoring the conversation we had the first week in which i explained that i'm still his Mom, but when i'm in the classroom i'm there to help Ms. Laura and all the other boys and girls. He gives me an enormous hug when i'm ready to leave, and interacts with the activities i lead-- but is just as comfortable picking other centers.

But the place i started this post was to say that i've received some hugely valuable positive feedback from Ms. Laura about my skills with the kids. I'm not sure if i can explain how those comments helped shore me up. The kids have both been in some rough patches for awhile and i haven't always felt like i'm doing a great job mothering them. My patience and problem solving skills only go so far. So, being in a classroom with 20 kids and feeling like i know how to help manage the classroom and interact in very positive ways with the kids has been wonderful.

Halloween 2009

We've had a great time prepping for and waiting to see exactly how Halloween was going to play out around these parts. Henry had decided pretty early he wanted to be a firefighter-- which was great, because we already had everything we needed for his costume. Except for some late in the day desires to be a whole bevvy of inanimate objects (a tree and a pillow are two that spring to mind) we were pretty prepared for Henry to have a smooth experience with Halloween.

We started talking early about Halloween with Silas, and particularly about dressing up. He wasn't very interested, but i figured it was weeks away so no rush. We didn't push but most times when we brought up Halloween and getting dressed in our costumes he used a particularly "Silas" tone of voice to indicate-- "no biggie, but i'm not getting dressed up." I know Silas well enough to know that he probably knew full well what he was going to do and was just stating it early. But part of me thought that as he learned more about Halloween and saw Henry and other kids in costume he'd get into the spirit.

We brought a few possible costumes upstairs to the playroom and Silas even put on a giraffe costume a few times. We talked a lot about the giraffe costume and 50% of the time he'd give it lip service. The other half of the time he'd re-emphasize that he wasn't dressing up.


On Friday, the day before Halloween, Henry's school had a Halloween assembly. Henry wore his costume to school, and Silas was excited and wanted to walk Henry to school before heading over to Ms. Brenda's. Surely this portends good things right?

Either way, the Halloween assembly was fun and Henry and all the other preschoolers (three classes on one stage and no one cried or fell off-- amazing!) did a great rendition of "five little pumpkins." Then they had a Halloween parade around the school and a short party where they got gobs of candy. (Quick aside, there were some candies we weren't familiar with printed only in spanish. One was some kind of lime gumball with chile powder flavor. I'm waiting for a report from JT on that one!)

So, on the day of Halloween i realized that we needed a "costume" that wasn't a costume, in case Silas really did balk. He's been favoring his "sheep coat" and his "bear hat" lately and i had already planned to put him in tan cords to form part of his giraffe costume. I was channeling Henry's bear costume a few years ago-- at least in my mind.


On Halloween we headed over to Tiffany and Mike's for the annual Halloween party. Since it wasn't a weekday the whole thing was decidedly more relaxed and laid-back than in past years. We ate some pizza and then started to work on getting all our costumes on. You guessed it, Silas was a no-go. Both Tiffany and Troy (very persuasive with the preschool crowd) tried to convince Silas to put on his giraffe costume, but he just said pretty firmly (and calmly) "no." So, we bundled into his sheep coat and bear hat and he was as happy as a clam. He loved trick-or-treating, wound up staying out later than Henry, who got cold and went back with an early group, and kept wanting to get "more treats." He even said trick-or-treat and thank-you at each house-- albeit in the wrong order.

And as a special gift to his parents, he and Henry climbed right into their sleeping bags, laid down and crashed out while we got to stay and enjoy the party with our friends. Wonderful Halloween-- even without the costume.