Fever

Man, fevers are scary. We really lucked out with Henry (which is funny to say considering how many medical issues we actually did endure), and never had to struggle through high fevers. Silas' high fever seemed to break just before bed last night, but only after it seemed to go up and he was more lethargic and just unlike himself than normal.

We were outside and Henry was playing in the wading pool while Silas lay in JT's lap. I looked over at him and he was either falling asleep or having a small seizure. His eyes were rolling back into his head and his hand was twitching. I freaked out, picked him up and came inside and he started really crying. After talking with the nurse last night it sounded like he probably was falling asleep but i now have a thorough knowledge of what to look for with febrile seizures.

Today Silas had a lower temp-- around 99 or so and we're hoping with a lot of naps and some good sleep tonight he'll get over this thing.

14 Months, 2 Weeks/ 3 Years, 1 Month

So Silas is sick, poor thing. He's been congested off and on for the past week or so but the cold seems to have caught back up with him and this morning he had a fever. We kept him home and he went on to take 4 NAPS! Yes, that's right. Between that and his 102 temp after his afternoon nap we decided to get him into the Dr. In fact, he visited both the chiropractor and the Ped. in an effort to leave no stone unturned. His ears were clear which is what i was concerned about but his throat is all red and splotchy white. They took a strep culture but the immediate test was negative. They keep growing the culture and will re-test on Friday. Hopefully that one will also be negative and he'll be feeling better by then.

Henry is getting more and more excited as he looks forward to our trip to see lots of family members and to visit the beach. We've been stocking up on new bathing suits and flip flops and sunblock. We've even managed to get Silas to keep a hat on-- unfortunately so far the only one he'll wear is yellow and makes everyone think he's a girl. But, at least he's not sunburned!

Henry has also developed some new interests lately which build on things he already liked. He still enjoys some of the cartoons that he has been watching, but he's become pretty amazed by all the animal programs i've recorded for him. He watched a show about ants tonight and watched one about gorillas yesterday. He's also learned a little bit about the computer. He's often content just to type into a blank word document, but he's also discovered some of the games at pbskids.org and is figuring out how to operate a mouse-- we're still working on that one.

And the biggest news-- i think it's safe to say that we will have met the physical goals we set for Henry this summer. Tonight he pedaled himself around the block twice-- sometimes moving quite briskly-- both steering and starting and stopping himself. I was pretty amazed, dramatic progress in just a few rides. A was drawing hopscotch courts this evening and although Henry isn't hopping on one foot like she was, he was jumping with both feet-- forward, i would guess 4-6 inches. That was another huge goal for him and he seems to about have it marked off.

Summer is Here

I know i have a lot of catching up to do. I was away on business last week for a brutal training-- about 6:00 until 10:30/11 every night. It made for a short week and lots of quick prep for a big bbq we had Saturday. Unfortunately the weather didn't cooperate much and we wound up with a houseful of humid guests and 6 or 7 kids running around. A tad more intense than planned, but fun nonetheless. A few friends that hadn't been to our house before made the comment on the way out that we had a "fun house." That actually made my weekend.


Quite a few developments with Henry and Silas. Silas has been taking more frequent steps-- not like he's walking across the room by himself, but he's moving from one object to another with no hand-holds in between on his own initiation. He has just about mastered the slide- the only thing that gives him occasional trouble is getting his legs over the top before sliding down. I've also figured out that he has some words i hadn't clearly understood before-- yes, kitty, and i could have sworn he said cheese today. He's definitely been saying yes and kitty for awhile, but i guess i wanted to be really sure before "documenting" it.


Henry has made pretty good progress pedaling his bike. He's also jumping now, although we're still working on jumping with both feet--forward. He had so much fun playing in the pool with his friends and has been having a blast with Silas at the water table. We're looking forward to a summer of fun outdoors.

Neighborhood Friends

We've recently ventured into new territory as Henry has developed a friendship with a little girl that lives two houses down on our block. She's going into 1st grade in the fall and is very sweet and quiet and really good about playing with Henry and Silas. It's been so fun to watch Henry go from really shy to asking why "my friend isn't here" when we haven't seen her in a few days.

It's also nice because she and Henry can play in the back yard while we keep a general eye on them but they don't have to be 100% supervised-- this proved really helpful during the fence-building weekends. Alas, the friend has a cousin who is the same age but a much bolder little girl. She's not aggressive but frankly, she drives me nuts. She's very dramatic, very loud, and winds up doing the talking for A, who's English isn't great. The cousin lives close enough that she's over about every 3rd time we see A.

Beyond the issue of not necessarily being able to pick your children's friends, we've been navigating a whole series of decisions that probably should be easier than i'm making them. Like, how do you respond when A shares her Popsicle with Henry (oh, that's sweet), then shares her Capri Sun (hmm, THAT's a lot of sugar for today) and then goes home and gets two more-- one for each other them (okay, if i wasn't building this fence i'd definitely put a stop to that!) Should i react by banning her treats even though she's being so generous and nice to share her snacks? I'm thinking the better solution is to have some "approved" snacks on hand so that Henry can share next time she's over.

But then there's this existential issue of what kind of neighborhood mom do i want to be? Do i want to be the mom who's house is ground central for all the kids-- the more the merrier, we're happy to have them? I can pretty much say for certain i don't want to me that mom with those on-going responsibilities. But, do i want to be the mom who never let's her kids have friends over or won't "share" any of her property with kids in an ad hoc way? Not sure i want to be on that side of the fence either. I'm hoping to stumble into more middle of the road solutions like i found at our BBQ on Sunday.

A and J were playing out front on Sunday while the boys were napping and i was frantically sweeping and prepping for our BBQ. I told them the boys were asleep and that i was busy getting ready for a party so i couldn't chat. They went away and about 5 seconds later, J came back and asked if they could come to the party if their mom said yes. I was taken aback, not sure how to respond, and just said we'd have to see. They went back to their house and i finished readying everything before our guests came.

Sure enough, as soon as we opened the side gate and started welcoming folks into the back-yard they were right out in front. After conferring with my parenting sounding boards i took the suggestion to tell them that they could come in and play with the other kids, but when the rest of the guests arrived they'd have to go back to their house because there would be too many people for me to watch without their parents there.

It actually seemed to work like a charm. The kids all played happily in the "dirt box," i.e. the raised bed that was not yet planted, and they were very well behaved about going home when i told them it was time.

So, we'll see what new parenting issues they continue to raise this summer and i'll do my best not to overthink my 3 year-old's social life.

Infrastructure Built

To say we've been busy these past few months has been an understatement. I think it's fitting that we managed to cap the major infrastructure projects on the last spring weekend/kick off to summer. I hope to spend more of the next three months enjoying the fruits of our labor, kicking around in the back yard, harvesting veggies and cut flowers, and enjoying the neighborhood park and pool.


This weekend Troy ended his neighborly indentured servitude and will make sure not to volunteer to "help" again. We did make quite a team though-- our veggie planting box is filled with dirt and now with seeds and plants, we have new trellis on the side of the house planted with ivy, and we completed the picket fence in the front yard on Sunday morning. I know it's not the standard arrangement but my at belated birthday BBQ we discussed with our other couple friends how nice it was to do such a major project with a friend instead of a partner. I'm not sure what it is about loved ones that can ratchet the pressure on a project-- but working with a friend enabled us to stay calm and trouble-shoot steadily. All of our friends agreed that we should form work teams for big projects from now on.


Henry and Silas had a great time at the BBQ. Silas made some progress on accepting the texture of grass and discovered that he LOVES the little slide we have in the backyard. The scary thing is he can just about climb up it and go down on his own-- someone has to be there to spot but he's about 90% independent-- and then eager to go again. He also took his first steps at the BBQ walking from Tiffany to my arms. It was just a few steps but he took them very confidently and of course hasn't seen fit to repeat it since. I'm pretty sure that when he decides to start walking he'll figure it out pretty soon, but right now he's still content to crawl around at the speed of lightening.


We closed out the weekend with a trip to the zoo and Henry and Silas were angelic babies the whole time. Sweaty and hot little angels, but i couldn't have asked for more. They both took long naps and just couldn't have been more cooperative today. Tomorrow we're back in the 50s and back to school. It's also hard to believe that in a month we'll be on our beach vacation.

Which reminds me, i didn't post last week because i was in Anaheim, CA for a conference. Professionally the conference went well and the boys did great with JT. Thankfully the day i left JT got out of his full cast into a split which made caring for the boys much, much easier. I brought home a few goodies but wouldn't you figure the free calculator from the conference has so far been the lasting hit and has earned a spot in the airplane carry-on for this summers' trip.

Ambition

When i think about what i want to teach my children it's lots of practical stuff like how to iron, do basic mending, manage money and know at least some plant basics. There are bigger hopes as well of course; that they'll be observant, empathetic, hard-working young men one day. I might have said ambitious, but i have a little trouble with that word.

I was raised to do my best, to work hard and to always try to make things better than you found them. I still believe those things and try to live my life along their tenants. The word "ambition" was often thrown around when people described me and it felt obvious to be described as an ambitious person. Over time however, i've questioned the connotation of ambitious as someone that puts the striving, the accomplishment, above everything else. Maybe that's just my take, but that's the tenant of ambition to which i am not reconciled.

I hope to impart to my boys a blend of ambition and contentedness. I want them to want to make change for the better, to see how to fix things and do something about it, but i also want them to be able to say-- "things seem good enough right now so i'm just going to enjoy this time." There are always things to fix, some more urgently than others and i hope the boys see these things writ large and small and DO something about them. But i want them to find calm, some peace in their lives that let's them enjoy downtime without frantically looking to make things better. Some times things are just good enough.

I haven't figured out the appropriate way to "show" this skill- this life balance i wish for them. But i have a feeling it's a matter of them just living life like we try to-- balancing our striving times with our times of acceptance-- no needle-threading practice sessions involved.

Routines

Although our early-spring accidents put a kink in our step, i'd say that JT and i have found our way back to some routines that work pretty well. Tonight was a perfect example. By 5:30 we were all home and started doing dinner prep in the kitchen. JT made a prep list for Henry and I and Henry helped me with all of tonight's dinner parts-- making the hot dog buns, prepping the green beans and potatoes, and suffering in solidarity while i chopped the onion.

JT fed Silas while we finished our prep and then i gave Silas a bath while we waited on our buns to rise. While i bathed both boys and shepherded Silas to sleep, JT cooked everything. Henry, JT and I ate dinner together and then after dinner got Henry ready for and off to bed. Post clean-up and a few loads of laundry later, i'm catching up on this post.


I wouldn't want to have the same cooking responsibilities in perpetuity, but for now the system works. Hopefully in another couple weeks we'll be able to go back to our tried and true systems where i just tell JT how delicious his cooking is, and that's the extent of my meal prep.

Speaking of systems-- this time systems breaking down. We found out on Tuesday that the babysitter we've been using regularly for over a year is quitting us. She's moved on to a more demanding job and i assume is just phasing out of babysitting. Which is understandable of course, but so, so sad. Not only was she great and so good and dropping in, taking over, and shooing us out the door but Henry loves her. She's going to be sitting for us a few more times but we're on the hunt for a new regular sitter. So if you're local and you've got tips-- feel free to send them my way.