9 Months, 1 Week/ 2 Years, 8 Months

Now that i'm back and getting into my renewed groove i've had some time to remember the details of Henry and Silas over our Christmas and New Year Break. They actually both have some cool new developments so i'll try to catch you up on what is top of mind tonight.

In addition to inchworming all over the place (more and more quickly by the day), Silas has been babbling up a storm lately. He's very partial to ba ba ba. With just that one syllable, it's amazing what he can communicate using different tones and cadences. He's also working on his sign language skills. He's been doing the sign for milk for quite awhile now and in the past week has added "more" and waving "hello" or "good-bye" to his repertoire. Henry didn't really start signing back to us beyond a simple wave until closer to 15 months so this is awesome and really encouraging!

For some reason Silas was on a liquid fast over the break. The day most of my family arrived he barely took 4 ounces all day of either breast milk or formula. He got better from there but in general he was just not feeling his liquid intake. He would scarf down solids (even cereal made with the leftover formula) no problem, but spend more time playing with the bottle than eating. I was a little concerned, because but at his 9 month check-up he was 18 lbs. 4 oz. which is growing right along his 10-25% percentile curve. The Doctor seemed very pleased, especially with what she called "his advanced social skills." I of course am relieved that he was a good weight and not far enough behind in the crawling department to warrant physical therapy.

As a postscript, now that he's back at Brenda's, he's been taking three 8 oz. bottles a day and eating the same amount of solids. Go figure.

In addition to the wonderful visits with family, we all got some pretty amazing gifts. One of Henry's favorites is his new race track. I was able to capture a quick clip of Silas and Henry both loving it with my new toy-- a video camera. Keep an eye on Silas' feet.


Well, i now have accounts with tons of free video share sites but google video seems to be working for now. Please leave a comment if you visit and this video won't load so i can keep trouble-shooting!

8 Months, 3 Weeks/ 2 Years, 8 Months

Henry has been cracking us up lately with his references to people. "Who's that white guy?" "What's that big red guy do-ing?" are familiar refrains around these parts, and it took awhile to figure out that he generally describes people by the color of their clothes. Pretty much everyone is a "guy"-- from the car in front of us to the frosty the snowman inflatable in someone's yard. He has been experimenting a bit with "girl" and "boy" but they haven't made it into everyday speech yet.

The new thing i think he's actively working on are the days of the week and time sequencing. He has been using the all-purpose "last week" or sometimes "last night" to mean anything that happened more than 10 minutes ago. Sometimes it's in the range and sometimes its a gross overestimate, but after all, the key aspect of indicating something happened in the past is being communicated. Now he's moving up to using actual days of the week and some percentage of the time he a) gets it right and b) knows which day comes next-- very impressive in my book!


Henry was so excited to host all of our friends for a Christmas party on Saturday. JT made a buffet feast and Santa Claus even made an appearance. Henry wasn't scared at all and was pretty excited with the Christmas monkey and coloring book and crayons that Santa gave him. He asked repeatedly "where the red guy go" after he was gone and he showed some big excitement at the prospect of writing him a letter.

We're counting down the days until our families start arriving this Friday!

Remind me next time...

So next time i start to tell you that Silas is sick and then "oh my god, he isn't sleeping, what do we do?!" that this is just what Silas does. Frankly it sucks, but he gets sick and then sleeps erratically for 3-5 days. Then he re-emerges and reverts back to his happy-go-lucky pretty good sleeping self. This doesn't make it any easier when we're in the throes of the wailing, but if i could just keep front and center that it will get better, and typically in just a few days, i think i wouldn't freak out so much. So i'm harnessing the power of my readership (small as that may be) to remind me of this important trend.

Whew, now that we have sleep troubles out of the way for awhile i wanted to finally update you on the fun we had last weekend. Kerala came over to play for a few hours on Saturday and the kids were all happy to play together during the 20 minutes they were all awake at the same time, and happy to oblige us with naps so that we were mostly fielding the two kids we're used to.

Sunday we headed to the Pendletons and the kids (and Tabitha!) made gingerbread houses. We've done this for two years with graham crackers. With the little ones getting older and more capable, (who knew how well they could wield a pastry bag) we might just have to step it up to real gingerbread next year. I've never witnessed so much candy inhalation in such a short time. I don't care what the experts say, Henry was literally running from one end of the house to the other by the time we got home, trying to come down from the sugar high.

We've been enjoying opening a few gifts that have arrived this week. Of course we're saving most of the gifts (and all from family that will be with us) for actual Christmas. I'm pretty sure however, that the boys will have more than their share of presents on Christmas morning. Doing one or so a day is fun because Henry gets completely excited, but also has time to absorb and integrate the new toy into collection. Plus, it allows us time to work on thank-you cards little by little. (Kai you did say thank-yous were okay once they came from Henry right :)

Craziness

The full effect of being a full-time working mother of two small children hit this week. I have a work deadline this week for a written report which is a great professional opportunity for me but which requires chunks of time that i can sit down, concentrate and write. Those chunks have been in short supply since Silas was home sick with me Monday and Tuesday.

He went back to daycare today and i *think* he's better. He just has a bad cold and a cough that at least is improving. Although he gets tired pretty easily he's pretty good during the day-- little cough, clear mucus, etc. He also goes to sleep really easily and quite early. Then about 30 minutes after he sweetly drifted off to sleep, he wakes up screaming and is largely inconsolable for the next hour. He'll calm down momentarily if you pick him up, sing to him, turn on his birds, etc. But it just seems to take about an hour until he can calm down enough to go back to sleep. It's definitely breaking my cool and making me feel so badly for him all at the same time.

I don't know if it's just that he's particularly miserable and I should try to console him no matter what (even though he drifted off to sleep easily less than half an hour before), or if he's gotten into a bad habit of not being able to get back to sleep at this time (the overnights have been going okay without too much intervention from me.) It's always hard to hear your baby cry, but it's absolutely gut wrenching when you know he's not feeling better and you don't know if you're doing the right thing.

I think if someone put this question to my hypothetically i would say it's a no-brainer; if the baby is sick you comfort them and don't let them cry. But in reality it doesn't seem that simple. If sleep is the best thing for him and when i'm holding him he doesn't fall asleep and continues to periodically cry, is it better to just leave him in the crib to cry really hard but fall asleep quickly? This is the stuff that isn't in the parenting books and gives rise to the whole "every child is different" adage.

This post has largely been for me but it's helped me realize i need to put a call in to our Pediatrician. I don't think he needs a sick appointment, but i need guidance on how to handle this situation.

Otherwise we're just trying to keep the adults healthy (JT and I are both dealing with a mild cold), keep the house from total disintegration, prepare for a Christmas dinner party for 8 adults on Saturday, and march through the scrolling Christmas check-list. "It's the most wonderful time of the year!"

8 Mos, 1 Week/ 2 Years 7 Months

Little Silas is sick. He and Henry were both congested over the weekend and Silas had a pretty rough night last night. Everything was running clear and he actually seemed happy and normal this morning so i bundled everyone off to school. Around 11:30 i got a call from Brenda that Silas was clearly not feeling well and had been inconsolable for about 30 minutes.

He fell asleep in the car on the way home and fell right back to sleep when i transferred him to his bed. He slept about an hour, and when he woke-up i was wondering if maybe Brenda was being overly cautious-- he was smiley and happy and didn't have a fever. But, after even just a little time wore on, it's clear he's not feeling well. He's cranky and snotty and doesn't have a great appetite. He's back to bed for another nap which hopefully will be a long one and i think we're shooting for an early bedtime as well.

Why?

My Father talks frequently about how i was constantly asking why as a child. I remember this actually but associate it with being a little older-- at least old enough to have memories. Perhaps i started my career even earlier which is what young Henry is doing. As are most things, it's much harder to deal with his incessant requests now that we're living it rather than hearing a tale about our distant childhood.

The issue is that i want to give Henry answers that attempt to quell his original question. I don't want to speak down to him but i don't want to give too much more information than he's able to comprehend. I want to be reflective about my answers instead of just saying "because that's how things are." At root i want to encourage this questioning and not squelch his curiosity or have him just accept everything as presented. The problem is that Henry doesn't always follow-along in this same congenial spirit.

A recent exchange:

H: I want to play outside in the snow.
T: It's too cold tonight Henry. We'll play outside later when it's warmer.
H: Why?
T: Because now that it's winter it can get very cold and if you're out in the cold too much you can get sick.
H: Why?
T: (attempts to explain how while germs make you sick being cold can lower your resistance)
H: Why?
T: We don't know why, but we know it happens.
H: Why?
T: Because Doctors study these things and tell us the answers.
H: Why?
T: Let's sing a song.
H: I want to play outside in the snow...

First REAL Snow

Today we trumped the little bit of snow we got over the weekend with a couple of inches of very fluffy snow that Henry had a ball playing in yesterday evening in front of our house. He's been excited for snow ever since it started getting cold and i told him that now that it was winter we might have snow. Unfortunately tonight there is more snow, but it's so cold that he couldn't stay out more than a few minutes. I saw a family down the street packing up sleds and kids into the car and i was thankful that i don't know where the local sledding hill is and my kids aren't old enough to ask to go sledding-- all in due time of course.

We're excitedly counting down the days until Christmas and our family comes to visit us in Chicago. I'm making an advent calendar and have managed to stay within a day of the actual date on the calendar. I have to double-up tonight since JT and i enjoyed an awesome dinner out last night and i didn't get my assigned ornament in for the day.

Henry has been periodically making art projects at school and bringing them home. We've started displaying them in the kitchen and i thought i'd share a few with you, as well as some random "toy arrangements" i've happened on and been impressed with.

First Snow-- and Ice

This weekend we had the first snow (and ice) of the season. It didn't snow a whole lot-- probably about 1/2 in. But it did stick, and it was snowing while i was trying to get all the leaves vacuumed and mulched up. I got the majority done and discovered that our leaf blower acts as an underpowered snow blower in a pinch. By about 4:30 the snow turned to ice and then somewhere around midnight it turned to rain. We did go over to Corey and Troys' in the evening and had to let Henry experience first hand why the ice storm wasn't great weather for playing outside.

We've talked about snow and how we will be able to play in it this winter so he was excited and then disappointed when actually he couldn't play in it this time. I didn't feel too badly for him though because he enjoyed playing hide-n-seek with Troy (who he calls "Troy-ee") and getting to play Troy's piano as well. That night was amazing because both boys went down to sleep effortlessly at there house and didn't make a peep until we woke them to go home.

Speaking of sleep, i haven't mentioned it because i'm afraid i'll jinx the phenomenon, but we're going to have to start setting an alarm. Since Henry was born we've only set an alarm the handful of times one of us had to get up really early in order to make a flight. Otherwise, you were guaranteed that somebody would wake you up. For the past several weeks though, both kids have been sleeping until 8. Silas usually wakes up between 5:30 and 6:30 but after i feed him he generally goes back to sleep until 8. It's actually made the mornings crazy though because we wind up just not having enough time to get everything done. So, while i hate to look the cosmic gifthorse in the mouth that has bestowed children on me that enjoy sleeping in, i fear tonight an alarm must be set. A moment of silence will be set at bedtime in our household tonight.

Time Management

Recently a friend of mine that currently doesn't have children asked how i manage to accomplish what i do with kids, when she feels super busy without them. I've been mulling this over some and thinking about how to respond and then decided that this would actually make a great blog post if i could just find time to write :) So excuse me Renee if you read this before i write back to you, but i think others might be interested as well.

Life is organized around four general areas: work, chores, extracurricular fun, and family. Each pushes and pulls on each other, but i've found some things that work for us in each category.

With work, something has to give. If both of you are corporate attorneys you're going to be outsourcing a lot of all the other areas. That might not be a big deal when it comes to chores, but you might start to really miss giving your child a bath or watching as she learns to say please and thank you. If you don't have a safety net in place, setting emotional concerns aside, you can also wind up stuck when your child gets sick and you both have important client meetings. So, generally one of you needs some flexibility in your schedule. This allows for someone to take off when little one needs to get to the Doctor, when your daycare provider is closed for the Federal holidays that you don't get, and to accompany said child on their first field trip.

We're blessed by the fact that i work remotely for a very family-friendly non-profit. My hours are pretty strictly 9-5, unless i'm travelling, and i work from home so there is no commute to factor into my day. Daycare is 15 minutes away. Even if you work longer hours and/or commute, working a few days from home can really make a difference. Obviously you don't have the commute to eat into your day and you can use the 4 minutes while you're waiting for your lunch to heat up to pick up the Lego's in the living room, throw last night's pajamas in the hamper, and take out the trash.

Which brings me to chores. I think the most important thing is to figure out what you can afford to outsource, and then looking at what's left, decide which items are crucial, and who can best tolerate/keep up with those key items. Much to the rest of my family's chagrin-- ironing has just never made it on to that list. We pay someone to clean our house every other week and divide the laundry/cooking/finances along our interest level and availability.

Assuming you have a spouse or partner, you need to figure out how to find a balance which leaves both of you feeling like you're invested in and responsible for the life you're living. In our house JT's the homebody. This means that he stays home on weekends while i toodle around Target and pick up cat litter. I actually kinda enjoy running errands, especially when i'm not toting two wee ones around.

One small thing which i wouldn't think would be much of a revelation is that i'm purposeful about my movements through the house. If i'm on my way downstairs i look at my desk and see what needs to be relocated-- a coffee mug, a water cup, the rechargeable batteries. After putting the dishes in the dishwasher and the batteries by the basement stairs i see the mail has arrived. I put 90% directly in the recycle bin and put the things that i need to do something about by the stairs to go into my financial folder-- you get the idea.

Then there's extracurricular fun. I think first and foremost, *what* and *how often* you do extracurricular activities changes once kids are on the scene. The trite "children change your life" is true but not like the soundbite makes it seem. It's not like you go from being an avid outdoorsman to a homebody Betty Crocker-type just because you have children-- at least not if you're going about things in a healthy way. But, your monthly overnight backcountry camping trips will most likely turn into long walks with your little one bundled into a back-pack carrier and a handful of camping trips to a site easily accessible by car. If your pre-baby days were spent logging late nights at local music clubs, you'll be scouring the area for music festivals that are child-friendly and happen during daytime hours. It's not that you're giving up your interests or hobbies, but they do tend to compete with the other responsibilities and priorities that children bring.

I used to workout five days a week, and attend ballet class and quilting group one night a week. I still try to fit in at least 3 workouts a week but i dropped ballet and attend quilting group once a month. Children are really great for helping you clarify your priorities and this level of activity helps me feel like i still have a life outside of being a Mom, but isn't so onerous that it's burdening JT or the kids.

One upside to kids is that they thrive on predictable schedules filled with sleep (or at least as they get older and stop waking up 6 times a night, ahem Silas!). So when you do activities changes, but can actually leave you with plenty of downtime if you're willing to take advantage of it. Our kids go to sleep by 7:30 (8 at the latest for Henry). Assuming a 10:30/11:00 bedtime, that leaves a decent chunk of time to eat a grown-up dinner if we haven't already eaten with the kids, spend a little time bonding as a couple, doing some chores and clean-up and maybe even working on a special project (a blog, a basement revamp, a baby quilt, etc.)

During the day (weekends for working parents) we have a solid 2-hour nap in the afternoon to work undisturbed on these types of projects as well. In a nutshell it's pretty simple, you have to pare down, be willing to adjust your expectations, and be flexible about when you get everything scheduled. In general we've found that these arrangements give us enough routine family time to feel like every one's needs are met.

All this said i'm adding a disclaimer that it took me about 6 weeks to do an imprint of Silas' hand for his memory book so clearly i'm not just crossing everything off my list as soon as i put it on there. In fact, i've moved to keeping my list in journals rather than on scraps of paper to emphasize that they are often long-term lists rather than immediate to-dos.

8 Months, 29 Days

Henry loves being upside down now. He often lunges backwards while you're holding him to get in position and he likes nothing better than to be tipped backwards. It makes him grin from ear to ear and giggle a bit. He also seems to be into messing with his sense of balance because he will shake his head from side to side somewhat forcefully and clearly thinks this is no amount of good fun.

We had both of our playgroups this weekend-- neighborhood one on Friday night and church one on Saturday morning. It's really nice to have those check-ins with other parents every so often and to see such a range of babies at all different stages. I love watching Henry at these get-togethers because he just can't stop being interested in everyone else. If they get close enough he'll reach out and grab them but usually he's content to just play with his toys and keep a close eye on all the action.

His sleeping hasn't been all that great lately-- not sure if it's the tooth or the cold but either way he's crying right now so i'm off to figure out what to do.

8 Months, 27 Days-- little bitty tooth

I know we've cried wolf many, many times before, but i'm pretty sure this time Henry really is getting his first tooth. It all makes sense now. Two days ago he was out of the blue having a hard time falling asleep and waking up more frequently and unhappy. He just seemed uncomfortable and we assumed it was because of his stuffy nose.

Today when i picked him up, Brenda said he had a tooth. At first i didn't think much of it because she's been caught in the "must be teething" trap with us before. She said that she kept feeling resistance on the spoon when she was feeding him and that he was getting a tooth. He wouldn't let us look at it tonight so i didn't get visual confirmation but i did get my finger in there and there is something sharp (not just hard gums which is what i've felt before) in the bottom middle. Hopefully we'll have some kind of pictoral evidence down the road, but for now you have to take my word for it.

8 Months, 25 Days

Well Henry definitely has a cold. He's been waking up more frequently than normal the past couple of nights and tonight he's crying as i write this. He fell asleep easily at 7 but has been crying a bit off an on for about 15 minutes now. I gave him some tylenol and rocked him for a bit and he calmed down but then when he went back in his crib he just isn't happy.

Really, this is nothing, but when Henry goes through a stint of being just a little "off" his happy contented self nowadays it brings back just how hard and exhausting those first three months were for us. I know i wasn't posting everyday then but Henry cried and fussed quite a bit. I feel a bit bad because while other mothers remember infancy with rose-tinted glasses, mine seem to have taken an opaque black tint. I think i remember everything much worse than it actually was. Either way, having a baby crying for what feels like a good portion of the day is hard. Now at least he's about 1000x easier to soothe and he sleeps-- both in the plus column for us.

We'll keep our fingers crossed that now that he's asleep he stays asleep.

8 Months, 24 Days

You've got to check out www.babylegs.net! I bought some baby legs or leg warmers for Henry a little while ago. They really help protect his little legs from the cold Chicago winter. When you pick Henry up his pants ride up and expose this calf skin that just gets so extremely cold and red. His baby legs solve the problem wonderfully! They help pad his knees a bit now that he's trying to move around more.

No crawling yet-- not even hands and knees. He's getting very good and spinning and moving backwards but hasn't figured out how to move forward. He is getting pretty good at getting into things even though he's not really mobile. I think it's his way of easing us into the next phase of babyhood.

In anticipation, we went ahead and lowered his crib over the weekend. If he's sitting on your leg he'll pull up to his toy table. He'll do it a few times in a row and then if you try to sit him back down he will refuse to bend his legs. You can tell that pulling up absolutely tires him out.

8 Months, 23 Days Old

When i picked Henry up from Brenda's today she said he was never in a better mood. He was giggling and babbling all day. She also said that when he was in his bouncy seat sitting next to his friend about the same age, they were holding hands for a bit. I can only imagine how cute that must have been.

I got Henry ready for bed and then JT took over while i headed to ballet tonight. Unfortunately Henry had a rough time actually falling asleep tonight. He cried off and on for awhile and seemed to get more upset when JT went in to comfort him. He's got a bit of a stuffy nose again so perhaps he was feeling under the weather. Hopefully now that he fell asleep he'll actually sleep all night.

Henry has been going through a bit of an experimental tongue phase. He has been making all kinds of funny noises and contortions with it-- JT captured it pretty well in this picture.

8 Months, 22 Days Old

We went to our favorite Indian restaurant last night with friends and Henry had a pretty good time but wasn't such a fan of the Indian food. I was trying to be careful of what i fed him but i think he got something a bit too spicy. He didn't make any outward reaction but i looked over and a tear was rolling down his cheek. After just a few more bites (of just plain rice) he pretty much clammed up for the night. So next time we'll have to move a bit more slowly. We got home and him in bed a bit late (9 pm) so he spent a good deal of the day catching up on sleep.

As mentioned a few days ago Henry made out quite well at Christmas. Friends and family provided a good mix of clothes, and TOYS! Today's picture shows Henry among the mass of all the toys when we got home. I grouped all of the toys into like groups (loud toys, soft toys, teethers, pull toys, etc.) and divided them among three bins. Now we're working on rotating the bins so we only play with one subsection at a time. A new thing i'm trying to turn into habit is the toy clean-up period at the end of each play session. This consists of me picking everything up and putting it in the plastic container while Henry watches and i talk up the clean-up. I'll just have to seek out some kind of catchy tune to go with it and hopefully we'll have the makings of a routine.

8 Months, 19 Days Old

We experienced the flipside of Henry's rough Tuesday bedtime last night. He fell asleep frightfully easily at 7 but was then awake off an on starting at 4 until i got him up to eat at 6. He definitely seemed tired by the time i took him to Brenda's but he had more spunk than the day before and after some good long naps there he seemed his usual perky self when i picked him up this afternoon. Hopefully tonight will be back to normal-- easy to bed, lateish to rise.

Our retrospective of Christmas break includes Henry's first visit to a big pool. Although he had a soak in a wading pool back in July, this was his first experience with water that wasn't warmed directly to his specifications. We marked the occasion with tons of pictures but Henry was kind of "eh" about the whole thing. His reaction made me feel less guilty about missing the registration deadline for the shrimp and kippers swimming class at the Y. I think we'll just plan to wait until the inia class next session.

8 Months, 18 Days Old

I mentioned that Henry is starting to move around quite a bit more. He routinely moves from sitting on to his stomach and is getting to be pretty pro at scooching backwards on his belly. He goes after toys and the cats more but he can basically only spin and move backwards. He was really trying to pull forward to get some toys today but so far he hasn't made any progress.

Henry is also eating more and more solid foods now. While in DC he had his first dim sum with the gang (documented above.) He had gluten, strips of bean curd, chicken, and 1000 layer pancake. We're headed to our favorite Indian restaurant this weekend so now it's time for his first taste of saag paneer and dal mukni (yum!)

Henry did fine at Brenda's today but mostly took long naps. This morning when i dropped him off he was practically catatonic. After i posted last night about how we had such a smooth trip, Henry woke up screaming off and on until about 9:30. At first i thought he might be hungry because he didn't eat that much in the evening. But then he really truly sounded mad when i would go in to check on him. Once i left him alone he fell asleep in just a few minutes on his own. He slept through the night but got up early (about 3 hours shy of his necessary 12 hours a night,) hence his long naps at Brenda's. He went to sleep promptly at 7 tonight so hopefully he'll be more rested and lively for Brenda tomorrow.

8 Months, 5 Days

He gained weight! Yes, the news was good from the Dr's office today. Henry gained 10 oz in 14 days-- just ahead of the average rate of 1/2 oz per day (after 6 mos). The Ped. was pleased and said we averted the next level of medical concern which would have included extensive blood-work to figure out why he wasn't gaining weight. We're supposed to keep up the 8 oz. bottles and try to incorporate an additional 4th bottle during the day as he's often very tired by the time he takes his last nursing session just before bed.

As far as solids, he's moving right along. He had mozzarella cheese for the first time today and not only did he enjoy it, but he did pretty well picking up the small pieces and feeding himself. We're supposed to mix 2-3 tsp of oil into his food a day and go heavy on things like egg yolks, ricotta cheese, and other sources of protein. We don't go back until his 9 month check-up in a month.

8 Months, 4 Days

When JT was getting ready to feed Henry tonight he was walking over to his booster seat with the bowl of bananas and raspberries (yum, sounds like dessert to me)and as JT was approaching, steps away, Henry had his mouth open and arms and legs really going. It's so much fun to watch how he interacts differently with JT and I. Not that all he does is cuddle with me and rough-house with JT, but we certainly have our different styles and Henry responds to that.

We're off to the Pediatrician tomorrow. Here's hoping Henry has put on some weight in the last two weeks. I'll let you know.

8 Months, 3 Days

Henry really hates his snowsuit/carseat combo. He fusses most days as i'm getting him situated (which it's hard to do with frozen hands and thick gloves). Today he flat-out cried almost the whole way to Ms. Brenda's. He seemed pretty tired and out of it when i dropped him off too. Brenda said he took his first nap right away, but overall did just fine.

He was playful as usual this evening. We're still working with him on laying on his stomach. I can't say he likes it any better and he's still not showing any interest in trying to crawl or get from point A to B. We'll mention it to the Ped. at Thursday's weight check, otherwise we'll just try to enjoy his non-mobile days while they last.

I posted all the 7 month pictures on yahoo. I'm out of new pictures so here's a signature i use on my message board!