We get some expert help...

In the two to three years before i got pregnant with Henry i was what they call "baby crazy." I was obsessed with having a baby and i channeled the delay before we were both ready into reading absolutely everything i could get my hands on. I was still supporting us both while JT went to law school so i read every parenting book in the Chicago library system and pretty much every book on the shelves of the Barnes and Noble-- while nestled into their comfy chairs.

By the time i actually got pregnant, i was basically done with pregnancy books and focused all my efforts on books about infancy, childcare, and toddlers. When Henry was actually born and had his various ailments including colic and sleep troubles-- i read what i could find on those topics as well. Once we thankfully moved on from these i was a bit burned out on reading and for approximately the past 3.5 years i've mostly winged it.

I have a monthly subscription to a parenting magazines so i'm up on the latest child-rearing sound bites. And i have a resident early-childhood expert on speed dial so i wasn't completely out of touch, but mostly we've felt pretty good about being able to tackle what came based on our own ideas and approaches.


But then, in the past several months we started having some real behavioral challenges with Henry. Nothing completely out of the ordinary but unpleasant all the same. He's defiant, easily upset, sometimes sulky and was starting to throw some serious tantrums. I'm a very patient person and i don't have that much of a temper. And yet, i was finding myself irritated a lot and getting angry and even, gasp-- yelling more and more. Between Henry's phase and Silas' normal toddler antics i felt like we just weren't doing the best we could-- for them and us!

So i've checked another round of books out from the library and the first one i read; "Mom I Hate You: Children's Provocative Communication," has proven extremely helpful. The author is a Psychiatrist and the books deals with helping you understand why kids say things that press our buttons and how to deal with these situations in a way that takes power away from provocative statements and teaches them how to behave better. We're experiencing pretty dramatic improvements with Henry just by using some of the initial approaches he suggests. Next up is a book called "Positive Discipline" so i'll let you know how that one goes.

Advice from the Doc

As long as Silas and I have spent some time with our respective doctors lately, i thought i'd share some useful and interesting tidbits we picked up along the way. Silas and i both came down with colds near the end of last week. I thought i was getting ahead of it and felt like i was doing about all i could by going to bed promptly at 8:30 every night and resting during naptime on the weekend. But alas, it turned into a sinus infection and by Monday i knew i was done for and headed off to the Dr.

One of the things i like about my Doctor is that he gives you printed specific information for ailments that you've had a zillion times-- and it doesn't just say to drink fluids and rest.

Well it does say that, but then it has several specific medications listed for various symptoms and he circles the best ones for me. He told me to take aleve for any body aches, to take Mucinex D for the congestion, and at night to take benadryl. This time it was all in my head but in the past when it's gone to my chest he's prescribed an inhaler as well.

I thought the Mucinex was just for your chest but he explained that's the Mucinex DM (umm, i think they need to work on their product differentiation strategy!) but the guaifenesin in Mucinex D helps break it up wherever it is-- sinus or chest. I asked what i could do to avoid a cold always turning into an infection. He said the usual supsects of rest and fluids are important and that some people are more prone to getting infections, but to throw the medications at your symptoms at the first sign. Not only can they help you feel better but they can prevent mucus from forming and holding on becoming a breeding ground for bacterial infections.

All day Monday i was feeling guilty and wondering if i had made the right decision to send Silas to school. He definitely had a cold (primarily head congestion) but from his temperament you wouldn't know he was sick really. That night his mucus was green which is always described as the warning flag and i guessed the fluid was still in his ear. So, i called and managed to get him in for an evening appointment. Turns out he doesn't have an infection (so i guess the green mucus isn't so reliable after all) but she unhelpfully told me that of course with the fluid there it could turn into an infection at anytime. Great-- so i get to keep being paranoid.

She did help me understand why there's basically no medications you can give to toddlers even with severe congestion like Silas has. She said that repeated studies have shown adults' symptoms being reduced by medication but similar studies in children showing no effect. And i know our regular Doctor told me last time that there were some studies that showed an *increased* incidence of ear infections in infants and toddlers given benadryl. So, at least i have the medical literature backup. But it still doesn't feel right with an arsenal of meds at my side and only saline solution, humidifiers and warm baths for Silas.

Stay tuned. Now that we're recovered and almost caught up on laundry and dishes, i hope to get some pictures of Silas' haircut. You were too polite to say but you'll note that his hair had become epic in the pictures from my last post.

One day shy of 23 months

Henry has taken quite a shine to his piggy bank lately. We've been trying to rustle up change for him when we can and he knows exactly where it goes and will tell you not to eat it (while pointing at his mouth he'll say "no no" with his pointer finger extended). He insists the bank be put on the floor while he puts the change in the slot. I think it's probably a bit early to start introducing lots of money management concepts, but i do try to talk up "saving" every time he puts change in his bank.

Our good friend Corey appears to be in labor. She's 3 days overdue and we were hoping she'd have the baby soon for her sake, but also for ours-- we have the same doula! I had Dr. appointments today and everything looks good-- i'm making some progress and the midwife thought that it was likely i would have this baby by the due date. It's a bit like a crystal ball though-- of course no one really knows. In the past week we've decided that we're ready to have this baby now so the thought of even having to wait another week and a half to my due date feels like forever.

I ordered two big brother shirts for Henry and he was excited to go ahead and wear his today. It's a little early but we're trying to talk up the baby a lot now that the time is getting closer. I'm pretty sure he still has no idea, but hopefully once we bring home this baby Silas that we've been talking and talking about he'll put 2 and 2 together.

22 Months, 3 Weeks, 2 Days

We're enjoying another day of warm weather but i think it's about to end. JT took Henry to Brenda's this morning so i could get on an early-morning conference call, but we're hoping that we can all meet up at the park again this afternoon.

I took Henry to the park yesterday afternoon and he had a ball. I think especially since he was just there the day before he was more adventurous and by the end of our stay he was climbing up to the playground equipment-- crossing the shaky bridge, going up two steps to the slide and then sitting down, scooting forward and going down the slide himself. This is pretty amazing to watch especially considering how cautious he was on all the equipment in the fall when we were frequenting the park.

JT and i enjoyed getting out last night for our last planned babysitter outing before Silas arrives. Unfortunately our babysitter had a work complication so we didn't make our movie but we did have a nice dinner out and enjoyed some adult time. Amazingly i don't have any Doctor appointments today or tomorrow.

22 Months, 3 Weeks, 1 Day

Henry is most definitely in the "mine" phase. It's interesting to observe though, because he's only about 50% of the time using mine as a declaration. The other half the time he says it in a questioning way and you really get that he's honestly trying to sort out what belongs to him and what doesn't. We went to the bookstore yesterday afternoon and while JT was browsing Henry and i headed to the train table they have set-up in the kids section. Henry played with the trains some and enjoyed watching the older little boy play with them as well. Then he noticed the boxes of train stuff for sale. He picked up a couple and asked "mine" repeatedly. I just told him no, those trains belonged to the bookstore. After a few times, it sunk in and he said "yeah" like this made sense to him. He does it with all kinds of other stuff, some of which is funny trying to explain that no the church bells aren't Henry's and the birds and squirrels don't belong to him either. I love watching his little brain sort all of the details of living out.

I'm so sorry that i forgot my camera, but we made it to the park yesterday for the first time in ages! We're enjoying a bit of a warm-up and we tried to take advantage of it. It was fun to watch what Henry could do, or do more confidently since we were there last in the fall. He loved the slide and just walking back and forth over the arched bridge and up and down the ramp. He thought he wanted to swing but was immediately interested in being back on the ground once he tried it out.

Saturday i hosted a baby shower for a friend of mine due at the end of April. Henry woke up from his nap to find the dining room peopled with ladies having tea. He was actually less shy than normal and was actually a little flirtatious. I even found him sitting on one guests' lap at one point. He and JT enjoyed a leisurely walk around the block while the party was winding down.

In news about me, i got my braces off on Friday which feels amazing, and i've some mild contractions off and on since Friday night. Nothing particularly strong and nothing that has turned into anything. It would be nice if this didn't last for two more weeks, but at this point i'm not due until two weeks from tomorrow.

New Stroller

We received a new stroller yesterday that will accommodate both Henry and Silas. Henry helped me get it all set-up last night and was super-excited to try it out. First we tried him in the front seat (which he won't use much because it holds the infant carrier at first and then Silas once he's bigger) and then the back (where he'll sit at first and then stand once he gets a little older.) He was so excited to sit in the front with the tray on and eat his snack and to hang out on the back like a big boy. In fact he spent the rest of the evening climbing in and out of the stroller on his own and trying to figure out the clasps. I'd say he approves!

It's nice to see him becoming a little more adventurous physically because right now we are on a physical therapy hiatus. The insurance company has said that his therapy is not "medically necessary" and we're embroiled in the process of appealing that decision. In the meantime, we've been trying to replicate the exercises he works on in therapy and hopefully he won't be too far behind when/if we start up again.

The weather has finally taken a turn for the warmer here so we're hoping to head to the park this weekend and see how he does there.

37 Weeks

That's right-- 3 weeks from today (more or less) we'll have a new baby to show off at Good Intent. I've had some drama related to my pregnancy lately that i'll try to encapsulate here quickly (short version is everything is fine). I met with a midwife that i had not previously seen on Friday and she turned out to be a little high-strung.

You could also describe her as gruff, aggressive and having ruffled my feathers. She wanted me to see "Maternal Fetal Medicine" ASAP to have them review the thyroid care I've received from my regular Dr. during the pregnancy. She freaked me out because the consequences of an unmanaged thyroid are dire-- severe physical deformities and mental retardation. She just sprung this on me and then got defensive when I tried to ask why she wanted me to see these people now (let alone who they were or what they did). The vibe I got was that it was almost more of a liability thing-- she wanted their experts to review what my Dr (who's through another hospital system) had done.

I had the appointment with MFM today and everything went fine. They did an ultrasound and again showed the baby was formed correctly-- still no indication of pyloric stenosis and growth looks right on-- they estimated his current weight as 6 lbs. 10 oz. The Dr. then reviewed my thyroid labs and care and said it all looked appropriate and they didn't have any qualms with it.

The Dr. does want me to start getting non-stress tests twice a week, instead of just once, to make sure the baby is doing okay. He also told me that with a thyroid condition you have an increased risk of developing pre-eclampsia so he went over the warning signs to watch for. The other thing you have to be careful of is placental failure at the end of the pregnancy. This is why i'm getting the NSTs twice a week now and am supposed to do "kick-counts" every day to make sure the baby is still active and responsive and getting the nutrients he needs. They won't let me go more than a few days past my due date, so we'll just hope for another timely baby.

Henry is doing great. I installed the infant seat in the back seat of the car and we've been talking about how Silas will be riding back there and all the things Henry will get to teach Silas. He seems most interested in that line of discussion but i'm just so curious to see how he responds to his new little brother once the time comes.

I'm hosting a shower for a friend of mine that is due at the end of April this week. It's a small "afternoon tea" shower we're having at our house and i think it will be really nice. After that i'm pretty much in the clear for being done with major commitments and work.

22 Months, 2 Weeks

Although it seems a little too soon to be heading back to work tomorrow, we had a nice weekend. We tested out a new babysitter and although Henry was hysterical when we left, we really liked her and she said that after Henry wanted to get in his crib for awhile to calm himself down, he was actually fine the rest of the evening. She's coming again next week and then after the dust settles after Silas' birth, we're planning to have a regular weeknight out every other week or so. Hopefully all of those things will make it easier on Henry when we leave.

We left him for about an hour today at our friends house as kind of a mini test-run of when they'll possibly watch him while i'm in labor. He did absolutely great and didn't seem to miss us one bit. They have two girls-- one who's 3 and another one that is just about Henry's age and he loves to play with them and all their fun toys.

On Saturday we went out to a sushi restaurant that we love but hadn't been to since the night i went into labor with Henry. We were hoping it wasn't going to have the same effect this time, and luckily it didn't, but we did enjoy a great dinner.

Henry was very animated in his play this weekend. At times he was getting more interactive with our cat mason-- going right up to him and petting him or looking him straight in the face while down on all fours. He also was just playing with forgotten toys in new ways. This morning he climbed up on one of our kitchen chairs on his own and promptly stood up. We're not encouraging that but from a physical point of view, it was a great accomplishment.

Tomorrow begins the week of medical appointments for me. I have something almost every day, capped off with having my braces removed on Friday (!) So no getting to the gym this week i'm afraid but i'm very excited to be done with my braces before Silas arrives (hopefully.)

Thank You

Some really considerate offerings of support were made to me after my post last night and i just wanted to say thank you and let you know that i didn't mean to sound so desperate. As a good friend said, i was "desperate for a good night's sleep" and thankfully i got a great one last night. Henry is tucked away quietly in bed and i'm hoping to turn in shortly. I started taking the antibiotics the Dr. gave me after my sinus congestion took a turn for the worse and i think they are starting to work as well.

I hope everyone has a great weekend and i hope to have more pictures and things to post on Monday.

Sleep Issues

I know my posts have had a negative note to them lately but it's not going to get any better with this one. I went back to work yesterday and didn't feel great, but at least okay to be out of bed. By 9 last night i was wiped though so i headed up to shower and get in bed.

I laid there for 2 hours and just couldn't fall asleep. Then Henry woke up and between JT and i we went in to him about 6 times in an hour. I don't know what was wrong but he just kept crying and crying. I finally fell asleep at 1 and then around 2:30 the thunder/sleet storm to end all others hit. I woke up and then Henry woke up and then the cat was annoying and after the storm died back down and Henry went to bed i think i finally fell asleep around 4 am. JT's alarm went off at 6 and i was awake from then on even though i stayed in bed awhile longer. It was an absolutely terrible night.

Tonight Henry has already been crying twice since he went to bed and i'm just praying to the sleep gods that he'll get it out of his system now. I HAVE to get better before this baby comes. I'm exhausted and really need Henry to revert to his good sleep skills.

Say a prayer for us if you can,we need sleep and wellness vibes around here.

Henry has been exploring the little room we have set up for Silas, and his new favorite thing is to play "baby" in the bouncer seat. He loves to be covered up and then to get out of the chair, get back in and be covered up again.

Sick

Thankfully Henry seems to just have a mild cold. I unfortunately, have some horrendous virus from Hell. I went to the Dr. today to rule out a sinus infection or strep and it appears just to be a really bad virus. The bad thing about that is the only thing i can do is continue to stay in bed and drink lots of liquids. I've been in bed basically since Friday afternoon and have to say i'm not feeling a whole lot better. I've taken today off from work and may have to take tomorrow off as well.

I'm not keen on using up my sick leave, but i just feel to horrible to try to make it through a work-day, even if i just kept my pajamas on!

I am feeling slightly better this afternoon-- good enough to sit up in bed and type rather than having to be completely horizontal all the time.

Henry has a runny nose and hasn't been sleeping great but he doesn't seem to feel as bad as i do and hasn't run a temperature or anything. He started being really disobedient this weekend and i'm hoping that it was a symptom of being cooped up and not the start of a new phase. There were several blocks of hours where he would do the absolute opposite of whatever you asked him. We had to draw the line at the spitting habit he seems to have acquired. It starts out as blowing spit bubbles but then he thinks it's hysterical to actually spit all that saliva out. Jt and i had both told him no uncertain terms that spitting wasn't allowed so he's suffered 2 or 3 timeouts over the issue already. I'll have to talk to Brenda to see how he fared at daycare today. I'm hoping he can hold off on this phase at least until i'm back in fighting form.

22 Months, 5 Days

I know i've been posting sporadically lately but i ask that you bear with me. Work is getting super busy as i prepare to go on leave in 4 weeks (can you believe it!) and i've been getting more and more tired as the days go by which makes it difficult to do much more than the basics come nightfall.

We wrapped up Henry's swim classes yesterday and i think he enjoyed things very much. He seems to forget about swimming when we're done with it, but hopefully he'll have a good time at the outdoor pool by our house once it warms up this summer. I'm a little glad to be done with walking out the water carrying Henry and Silas.

Henry had his appointment with the Pediatric Geneticist yesterday and was given a "normal" bill of health. They took a detailed family medical history and then did a physical exam of Henry. They felt that he was totally normal, had overcome his low muscle tone from his earlier days and that the various issues he's had (low muscle tone, pyloric stenosis and chordee) were unrelated and essentially three unlucky rolls of the dice. They said that if his development ever slowed or seemed to back-track certainly to get him back in, but there was nothing to prompt them to do more tests or look further because he appears to be totally normal. This was what we were hoping to hear!

Henry has loved to stand on the step-stool in the kitchen ever since Christmas but JT has been letting him do this more often as he works on dinner. Henry either plays with his own bowls or spoons or just watches as Dad puts dinner together. He's a bit more sure-footed on the step-stool now so you don't have to literally stand there with your arms around him the whole time.

President's Day

Henry and i enjoyed the day off and decided to make an outing of it. We had plans to hit the Art Institute with my friend Tabitha and her two girls. The museum is free through the 21st so we figured we had nothing to lose. Unfortunately Carys woke up with a fever this morning so they bowed out. I figured we were already up and motivated and we'd still go. I got Henry all bundled into the stroller and we took the El down to the museum. Thankfully it's much warmer this week (30s!) so it wasn't too bad.

The museum itself probably isn't the greatest for kids though-- at least not at this toddler stage. There are lots of stairs and in general it's a quiet place (to be expected of course) and there really isn't much geared towards young children. Henry really liked the African masks and Asian artwork that involved animals and was pretty content for about 30-45 minutes. After that he wanted to get out and walk around and have a snack-- both of which weren't really going to happen. So i called JT and we headed to Marshall Field's where we met up with him and had a nice lunch together.

I have to confess that my 35-week pregnant body also felt the impact of the day. The baby has definitely dropped so i can't walk normally (or quickly) anymore, i get tired really easy, and everything fairly aches.

Once we got home at 1:30 Henry went straight down for his nap and i laid on the couch unmoving for the better part of the 3 hours he slept.

We had a great day though and it was nice to get out but it's pretty clear that i'm really pregnant and need to take things a little easier now as we enter the homestretch. Now, i just have to get 5 days of work done in 4.

I don't have any reason to think i'll have this baby early but i'm a bit nervous at work because things are so busy i haven't really had time to work on the "transitioning" aspects of being out on leave.